She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
