You're completely useless in the revolution.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
