Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
