All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
