Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's never too late to be topless.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
