It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
