he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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