i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
