I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
