that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
