I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
