So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
