Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
