So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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