I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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