The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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