And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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