If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
