There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize