watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
