I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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