I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will pee on everything he values.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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