I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
