Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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