dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
