At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
