Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
