i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
