Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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