im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
