Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize