So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
