And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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