Don't make out with my wife yet
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
