i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
