i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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