worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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