Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
