Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
