I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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