I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
