you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
