I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
