two words: eviction party
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
