jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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