nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
