are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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