dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
