All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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