ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
