Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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