I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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