Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
