Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
sex in a hospital.. check
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
