You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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