BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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