Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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