i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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